The day after I was “released” from the gallery space, mentally I felt great, but physically I felt ill. It took me a few days to start feeling normal again. I lost six pounds over the course of the month and for someone as small as I am that’s a lot. It’s now a week later and I have almost gained it all back and I feel 100% better physically.
I spend the first two days out of the gallery cleaning out the space and returning all the furniture. I really didn’t want to be in there, but I had to. It felt claustrophobic and the difference in the air quality was very noticeable. Even others noticed how stale the air felt. Anytime someone needed to talk to me on the phone or in person, I took the conversation outside.
The hugs feel great and the smells have been strong. It’s amazing how sensitive you can be when you’ve been missing something.
I took a few days off of the computer right after I got out. I only checked email, but didn’t respond to anything unless it was urgent. It is more apparent to me now that I am out, how much I was addicted to the Internet and my phone. At the “opening” party, Josh took my purse to put it away, but first I asked to get my phone. He said you don’t need it, but I felt like I did. Thankfully, he didn’t let me keep it.
Now that I am no longer multi-tasking various communications, my attention span is better. So much so that I have started reading a book and I don’t make as many mistakes typing and texting. I am still trying to only do one thing at once. I credit that as the reason my anxiety and stress have subsided.
It feels really good to finally be able to relax without being watched and to not be accessible 24/7. It also feels really good to be able to express myself fully. Now when I am frustrated that someone misunderstood me in a text, I ask if we discuss it on the phone or in person. It’s nice to have the option.